I would go to work and then I would come home and I would just isolate and I would really suffer in silence. And I was embarrassed and I just didn't know if I can trust anyone or if anyone would validate what I was saying.
Hi, I am Kimberly. I was in the United States Army and United States Army Reserves. I served from 1995 to 2009 with a break in service. My MOS was 91 Bravo 91 Charlie, and my AOC was 66 Hotel.
I had no idea what I was getting into. The company that I was in, which was at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, they had a lot of male drill sergeants who made it evidently clear that they did not want females in the military. And I remember one of the instructors really just demeaning me in front of the other male soldiers. When you hear that day after day after day, it feels very defeating.
I had no idea at the time it was affecting my mental health. I just thought this was something that we were supposed to endure. I didn't really know a lot about the military. I started up again with my eating disorder after going through basic and my AIT. So, a treatment for an eating disorder is really getting to the core of it, and it's not about the food it's about why we're doing it. I ended up using food in an unhealthy way.
We were in co-ed barracks, so there was males who would come over from the other side and there was sexual harassment, unwanted touching. I was told if I said anything I would get the whole company in trouble and that I didn't want to be that person to do that. So, I just stored it deep down and later on it was like coming out as physical ailments, chest tightness. I would get headaches. I had nightmares and panic attacks, but at the time, again, I was just so overworked and kept myself distracted, because I was a single mom. I was going to school full time. I was working full time. And I can tell you starting last year, once my emotional support animal, Camo, died, once he got sick and I knew I was gonna lose him, I really knew that I needed help, because I was isolating, I was getting depressed and it felt like I want didn't wanna be here anymore. So, it all caught up to me.
Treatment was effective for me through talking. So, we did counseling and cognitive behavioral therapy and I felt really seen and heard. For the first time, I was starting to my story and it felt really good however really scary, because a lot of emotion was coming up. Being outside is key for me. I love mountain biking, I love walking, and all the things in nature I love doing. But really the big therapy was when I started our nonprofit, Reveille & Retreat Project, which is specifically focused for military women's mental health and holistic healing. These women came to our retreats and they started telling their stories so vulnerably and we were like, this is a way another avenue for us to get that stuck trauma out into the world.
The moments I'm most proud of is being here right now, telling my story, because I almost wasn't. So, this is a huge moment for me.
